SECONDHAND         FAT KILLS! (from Chamber of the Bizarre)
. . . It's more deadly than smoke


THERE'S something even deadlier in the air than secondhand smoke -- it's secondhand fat, says a top researcher.

For years, doctors have been baffled by the high number of heart attack deaths of extremely skinny people, who were married to fatties or living with whale-size family members.

Some theorized that they just might be getting clogged arteries because they adopted the same poor eating habits of their obese spouses or housemates.

But now, Dr. Benjamin Myers, an obesity specialist in Bristol, Conn., says that invisible particles of fat detach themselves from obese people and are breathed in by those around them.

"I believe that fatties exude teensy-weensy bits of fat into the air which is picked up by those around them and can actually affect them in a negative way," explains Myers. "It seems that thin people are especially susceptible to this secondhand fat and, before you know it they keel over from a clogged artery even if they've been eating nothing but rabbit food all their lives.

"I can't tell you how many cases I've seen of a Jack Spratt, who's eaten no fat for 40 years, suddenly keel over with a heart attack. Meanwhile, his whalesized wife, who has been pigging out on fat-filled foods, keeps wallowing along."

Ironically, Myers is slated to be an expert witness at an upcoming Pennsylvania murder trial, in which an obese diet-cheating husband is accused of slaying his reed-thin wife with secondhand fat.

"Every night, as he crammed chocolate cake and cookies into his puss, his wife would nag him, 'Look at you, you are going to kill yourself,'" says Myers. "Little did she know that he was out to kill HER!"

Another expert, diet guru Dr. Sidney Blylock of Galveston, Texas, believes that secondhand fat may also be the reason that many diets fail.

"You can't believe the number of dieters nationwide who swear on a stack of Bibles that they haven't cheated on their diets even though they're gaining weight -- well, they're not all liars," says Blylock. "A dieter goes out to a nice restaurant, orders a salad or maybe a sliver of fish -- and gains 3 pounds because the guy at the next table was packing in calorie-crammed desserts and pastas like there's no tomorrow."

The doctors believe secondhand fat is a deadly menace and people should be wary of it while in public.

"People should take a good look around them," warns Myers. "Instead of worrying about that cigarette someone at the next table may be holding in their fingers, they should be more concerned of invisible fat globules released in the air by the roly-poly woman gorging herself at a nearby table."

Fat: CA Anti tactics in plain text

If you had any doubt about our warnings for years that "fat" was next when the Anti Extremists started to run out of tobacco money...  read this and weep...

Tobacco settlement offers lessons for fighting fat