FAT KILLS! (from
Chamber of the Bizarre)
. . . It's more deadly than smoke
By SHARON HUMPHREYS
THERE'S something even deadlier in
the air than secondhand smoke -- it's secondhand fat, says a top
For years, doctors have been baffled by the high number of heart attack
deaths of extremely skinny people, who were married to fatties or living
with whale-size family members.
Some theorized that they just might be getting clogged arteries because
they adopted the same poor eating habits of their obese spouses or
But now, Dr. Benjamin Myers, an obesity specialist in Bristol, Conn.,
says that invisible particles of fat detach themselves from obese people
and are breathed in by those around them.
"I believe that fatties exude teensy-weensy bits of fat into the air
which is picked up by those around them and can actually affect them in a
negative way," explains Myers. "It seems that thin people are
especially susceptible to this secondhand fat and, before you know it
they keel over from a clogged artery even if they've been eating nothing
but rabbit food all their lives.
"I can't tell you how many cases I've seen of a Jack Spratt, who's
eaten no fat for 40 years, suddenly keel over with a heart attack.
Meanwhile, his whalesized wife, who has been pigging out on fat-filled
foods, keeps wallowing along."
Ironically, Myers is slated to be an expert witness at an upcoming
Pennsylvania murder trial, in which an obese diet-cheating husband is
accused of slaying his reed-thin wife with secondhand fat.
"Every night, as he crammed chocolate cake and cookies into his
puss, his wife would nag him, 'Look at you, you are going to kill
yourself,'" says Myers. "Little did she know that he was out to
Another expert, diet guru Dr. Sidney Blylock of Galveston, Texas, believes
that secondhand fat may also be the reason that many diets fail.
"You can't believe the number of dieters nationwide who swear on a
stack of Bibles that they haven't cheated on their diets even though
they're gaining weight -- well, they're not all liars," says
Blylock. "A dieter goes out to a nice restaurant, orders a salad or
maybe a sliver of fish -- and gains 3 pounds because the guy at the next
table was packing in calorie-crammed desserts and pastas like there's no
The doctors believe secondhand fat is a deadly menace and people should
be wary of it while in public.
"People should take a good look around them," warns Myers.
"Instead of worrying about that cigarette someone at the next table
may be holding in their fingers, they should be more concerned of
invisible fat globules released in the air by the roly-poly woman gorging
herself at a nearby table."